Strange Movie Conventions: The Pre-Battle Horseback Pep Talk

So, you’re sending your army to fight for something they might not completely understand, and many of them will meet certain death in the process? They’re going to need a little pick-me-up, a reason for doing it. Add a touch of glory to the message: it’ll be the caffeine boost of the initial attack. Try to work in words like “honour,” “courage,” “heroes” and “for centuries.” They’re motivational gold, proven to produce fewer deserters than other pre-battle keywords.

What’s that? You’ve got an army of hundreds? A couple thousand? All on horseback? You’re from 5th-century Middle-Earth? You don’t know what a megaphone is? Listen, I’m not being funny, but I’d be surprised if anyone hears you past the first couple of rows.

Whyn’t you do everyone a favour and make sure there’s enough beer.