Strange Movie Conventions: The Pre-Battle Horseback Pep Talk

So, you’re sending your army to fight for something they might not completely understand, and many of them will meet certain death in the process? They’re going to need a little pick-me-up, a reason for doing it. Add a touch of glory to the message: it’ll be the caffeine boost of the initial attack. Try to work in words like “honour,” “courage,” “heroes” and “for centuries.” They’re motivational gold, proven to produce fewer deserters than other pre-battle keywords.

What’s that? You’ve got an army of hundreds? A couple thousand? All on horseback? You’re from 5th-century Middle-Earth? You don’t know what a megaphone is? Listen, I’m not being funny, but I’d be surprised if anyone hears you past the first couple of rows.

Whyn’t you do everyone a favour and make sure there’s enough beer.


  1. Let’s not forget this one…

    Livvy Jams: Ha! Love it. Of course, if Laurence Olivier is sellin’ it, I’m buyin’ it.

  2. I’d say the climactic score helps too. I personally would choose to listen to Howard Shore’s version before my battle to get me jacked.

    Livvy Jams: Yup, nothin’ wrong with a little Howard Shore to get the battle juices flowing.

  3. I’m afraid I’d have to differ to some degree on the megaphone part. Ever hear an opera singer sing in person? Make sure there’s plenty of distance between you and them, or you’ll be losing alot more than just your hearing. We’re used to alot of noise in our modern world, but when a crowd stands silent where there isn’t traffic noise, etc. you’d be amazed at how far a voice can carry.

    Livvy Jams: Having studied music during my first year of university (and played music for most of my life), I know exactly what you mean about opera singers. However, when they sing, they sustain notes on vowel sounds, which is entirely different from the plucky, staccato nature of regular speech, which, you’ll note when opera singers do “recitatives,” doesn’t amplify in quite the same way, nor as loudly. They also sing in closed off halls that are designed and constructed with materials meant to amplify sounds. Before such concert halls, these types of singers sang in churches (renowned for their acoustics) and smaller chambers. Granted, their craft teaches them to carry and amplify their voices to far limits, but if they had to do the same outdoors to an audience of thousands (as some of these movies propose), their voices would only carry to the first few rows. Even when everyone is silent, so long as you’re outdoors, people at a certain distance wouldn’t be able to distinguish most of your words if there weren’t at just the right proximity. Unless, of course, you deliver your speech from a cliffside, and your audience is in the canyon. In any case, there’s no seriousness to this post. But what these movies propose is kind of ridiculous. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s