“Now I’m the foreigner” moment #3: What’s the rush?

Before coming to Torrevieja, I’d heard about “Spanish Time,” but I didn’t appreciate the full sense of the thing until I had to mail a simple letter. Sure, you could call it inefficiency, but the Spanish like to think of it as patience. I suppose it’s not for me, an American, to decide.

Meantime, here’s a rough translation of some common time measurements.

“Tomorrow” = In a few days.

“In a few days” = More like a week, maybe even a week and a half; let me check with my supervisor tomorrow (see “tomorrow”).

“1 week” = 2 weeks.

“1 month” = It might get lost. Better aim for 1 week (see “1 week”).

“I’ve got a tight deadline” = This isn’t going to get done before siesta, so you might as well siesta and come back.

Bless ’em.

Then again, this view doesn't exactly make me want to get stuff done either.

“Now I’m the foreigner” moment #2: You American? (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

During quiz night at Stallion’s pub in Orihuela, Spain, where, incidentally, there are nothing but Brits.

Quizzer: What was the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse?

The husband unit: The Lone Ranger?

Me: I think it’s a cowboy.

Guy sitting at next table: You should know this. You’re American.

Me: I’m Canadian.

Guy sitting at next table furrows his brow to indicate doubt.

Me: If I were American, I’d admit it.

No Americans were harmed in the making of this blog. But a handful of Canadians were probably a little miffed, and at least one British man was very disappointed.

“Now I’m the foreigner” moment #1: Accents collide

Location: London-Gatwick train station, at a kiosk that sells pasties and such.

Me: Hi, I just bought this bag of ch…crisps, but they’re soggy.
Vendor: Sorry, louve, wha’ di’ you saye theye wur?
Me: Soggy.
Vendor: Sorry?
Me: (*with useless hand motions) Umm…soggy …stale…not crispy…uh…wanna try one and see? (*handing him over the bag; he breaks one)
Vendor: Oooooh…soggie! Right, ‘ere’s anuhthuh packet, louve.