Location: London-Gatwick train station, at a kiosk that sells pasties and such.
Me: Hi, I just bought this bag of ch…crisps, but they’re soggy.
Vendor: Sorry, louve, wha’ di’ you saye theye wur?
Me: Soggy.
Vendor: Sorry?
Me: (*with useless hand motions) Umm…soggy …stale…not crispy…uh…wanna try one and see? (*handing him over the bag; he breaks one)
Vendor: Oooooh…soggie! Right, ‘ere’s anuhthuh packet, louve.
OLIVIA COLLETTE 