I’ll be honest: I almost forgot Valentine’s Day was going on this weekend. Throughout the week, people asked if I had any plans for V-day with the boyfriend unit. My response was always the same: I don’t believe in it. For the record, I don’t believe in Christmas or Easter either. I only celebrate Thanksgiving because it’s an opportunity/excuse for me to cook for a bunch of people (which I love), and I celebrate Halloween because it’s an excuse/reason to get all dressed up. I wouldn’t say I “observe” them in that neither corresponds to a core belief. They just happen to allow me to party in a way that suits me.
So here’s why I don’t care for Valentine’s Day, in case anyone is curious.
- Gift exchanges result in me getting a lot of “stuff” that I don’t need or want. I appreciate the thought, but I could do without gifts on Valentine’s Day, my birthday, Christmas, and any of their close cousins.
- If you need a holiday to infuse a bit of romance into your relationship, your relationship might need a refresh. I just don’t think one day on the calendar should decide when I’m going to express how I feel about my partner. In these career-driven days, it’s hard to make time for relationships. But the fact is, you have to prioritize yours throughout the year, and not just on the one day. If you do that, it’ll make Valentine’s Day seem unnecessary, and I think that’s a goal anyone should have.
- Going out of your way to organize a romantic evening can often lead to disappointment, and I think that’s a stupid reason to get into an argument. I might sound pessimistic here, but looking back on Valentine’s Day celebrations where I felt that kind of disappointment, my 20/20 hindsight determined that I was being short-sighted. Why get all worked up over one day if everything else is fine? If one day can do that, eliminate it! It’s easier to do that than to change a relationship that’s working.
- It’s true that the boyfriends who have been with me since I boycotted Valentine’s Day were relieved to be off the hook. I’m sure they had struggled, in the past, to find something perfect for #1 and organize #2, leading to #3. The fact that they feel the holiday is pointless, as I do, doesn’t make them thoughtless. Far from it. In fact, in my experience, it tends to make them want to be romantic – out of their own free will – throughout the year. I do the same. And isn’t that the point?
- Actually, my idea of romance is sitting around in my pyjamas, pigging out on take-away and watching movies all night. If you can feel comfortable doing that with your loved one, you’ve got something special.
Incidentally, I did #5 for Valentine’s Day this year, and it was bliss.
OLIVIA COLLETTE 